|
既然這本回憶錄是為父親所寫的輓歌，女兒心目中的父親形象理應是整本書的主題之一。蘇勒律在回憶錄中多次強調父親鍾愛報業甚過家人，在描述全家隨著父親從倫敦調職回拉哈爾時，蘇勒律也埋怨父親為何讓剛生產後的母親獨自處理家具的打包與運送，而後蘇勒律在述說父親不間斷的生產能力時，也特意表示他所孕育是報紙。父親的另一個形象就是這篇回憶錄的標題：「男孩」，屬於巴基斯坦開國領袖真納口中那些該為巴基斯坦做點事的男孩，回憶錄裡也時常提及父親對真納的崇拜與對國家的忠誠。
I cannot remember on how
many countless Independence Days, Pakistan Resolution Days, we had to
listen to the radio rebroadcasting one of his final speeches. “Now what
we must do, my fellow citizens,” Jinnah pronounced in his clipped
English, “is work, work, work.” Twice yearly Pip would listen to that
injunction and repeat, with awe and such affection, “Work, work, work.”
(19-20)
Once again, she was
doing this alone: was the Pakistan Times so important, Pip, that
you couldn't have taken a day off and have been there to comfort her
trembling hands? (26-27)
For a man, Pip, you
certainly gave continuous birth. I refer less to your offspring than to
your newspapers, your projects. (41)
What was it about Pip's
relationship to friends? He was a most affectionate man, quick both to
love and to admire, yet I do not recall a single of his friendships that
was not somehow trammeled by history. (60)
What I think I discern
in Pip's vocabulary was a slow substitution for the term “friends” with
the term “ally.” (64)
此外，就如《無肉的日子》一樣，除了父親之外，所有家人在蘇勒律的回憶中皆佔有重要的份量，因此，這本回憶錄仍然延續《無肉的日子》，充滿了蘇勒律對家人共處時光的記憶，母親與二姐Ifat遭受意外身亡所帶來的傷痛仍然存在，之後連大姊Nuzhat也已過世，因此在述說童年趣事時，更時常暗含一股揮之不去的傷感。如今，再加上父親的逝去，讓蘇勒律在撰寫這本悼念父親的回憶錄時，雖然對父親的描繪仍帶有《無肉的日子》中那位Pip（他們幫父親所取的綽號，擷自Patriotic和Preposterous兩個字的字首）的色彩，是個熱愛國家與不按牌理出牌的父親，但是卻也流露出蘇勒律對父親的摯愛，而在許多軼事的描寫中也可見父親柔情的一面，對於兔子被打死的反應，即是其中一例。在滿懷思念的字句中皆可看到，蘇勒律如何努力從記憶中的小事物重新尋找父親的各種身影：手握著派克鋼筆，膝上放著寫字板，四周圍繞著五六具彩色電話，嘴裡嚷著：「莎拉，來清一清我的煙斗。」
But some young street
lad took a sling and killed them both: I had not expected Pip to notice,
but in fact he was heart-sorrowed. “Don't talk to me about it!” he
muttered. “I would be sitting out here in the sun, writing about Muslim
nationhood, and those bunnies would be jumping round me—more than you
ever do!” He had much love inside him, in some extraneous fashion….
(14)
Farooq said to me, “Do
you know how small Papa was?” I had not thought about that, but it was
true. “When I held him in my arms to wash the body,” Farooq told me, “I
could not believe that he was so small. You see,” he added, “there was
so much presence to him; he always struck you as larger-than-life.” (47)
You would have been
moved, Pip, to hear Tillat telling Farooq that after you died, the one
extraordinary thing that she had lost was the complete surety of the joy
she could confer by simply walking into a room. It is true, Pip: when
one of us walked into your room, you would look up with such a radiance
in your face, one that asked for nothing, nothing but the joy of
presence…. With humility we approached you, which is another way of
expressing the joy we too were feeling, to be once again in the aura of
your remarkable presence. (59)
這本回憶中對於蘇勒律在美國的生活也有較多的著墨。蘇勒律撰寫《無肉的日子》時屬名為Sara
Suleri，但是蘇勒律是以Sara
Suleri Goodyear之名撰寫這本回憶錄，因為此時她已經與美國Goodyear家族的Austin
Goodyear結婚。於是，在記敘家人相處的往事時會穿針引線地將先生Austin帶進書中，彷彿是在向父親引介這位新的家族成員。事實上，在回憶錄中對於父親與Austin直接接觸的描述只有一次，就是
Austin寫信向蘇勒律的父親報告他們即將結婚的消息，從這段短短的敘述中，可感受到蘇勒律的跨國婚姻可能帶給父親某些衝擊，尤其Austin的歲數又大於自己將近一倍之多，雖然父親在回信中只以一種身為父親的口吻向他們賀喜，並表示女兒莎拉會是個好妻子，但是蘇勒律明白這封信的字裡行間傳出一個訊息，那就是「要讓Austin轉信伊斯蘭教」。雖然從回憶錄中讀者並無法確定Austin是否與蘇勒律的父親直接見面，也無法探知這對岳父與女婿的關係為何，但是有趣的是，這兩個蘇勒律生命中最重要的男人有許多驚人的雷同之處，在回憶錄中蘇勒律不斷將父親與Austin並置，以凸顯他們之間的相似性，而其中一個相同之處即是他們都愛護著蘇勒律。
Sometimes in the middle
of the night, I can hear you whisper, “Make him a Muslim; make Austin a
Muslim!” The last time we met, Pip, you repeated your plea, adding,
“You know, if you convert someone to Islam, you go straight to heaven!”
(17)
On that score, at least,
you and Austin have something in common—it could be me—and I think of it
each time when I take the helm of Mermaid and head out away from
you into the waters of Eggemoggin Reach rather than the Indian Ocean.
(49)
Aside from eyesight,
Z.A.S., my father, has a certain uncanny connection with A.G., my
spouse. Neither can be called materialistic, but both posses an
inordinate fondness for things. (77)
這樁跨國婚姻也帶出文化歸屬的主題，以一個巴基斯坦裔的女教授身份進入Goodyear這個美國有名的家族，讓蘇勒律更能體會母親因婚嫁來到他人國度的感受。蘇勒律多次描寫到文化衝擊的經驗，讓她更能理解母親教導她要「生活於情感之外」的寓意。蘇勒律特別描述她與年齡長於自己的繼女第一次接觸時，
Austin的女兒以親切的口吻告訴她：「我知道我父親會再婚，但沒想到是個知識份子！而且—是個非白人！」（2003:
43），就是因為她學會了母親對文化歸屬不緊握的態度，她也才能豁然地面對「非白人」（nonwhite）這個字眼，並且能以輕鬆的笑虐口吻對已逝的父親描述這件有趣的軼事。此外，文化身份歸屬的離散性也表現於蘇勒律對家人遷移的描述中，譬如一開始即提到他們兄弟姊妹的出生地即可繪串成一張有趣的地理輪廓圖，同父異母的大姊Nuzhat可能出生於Simla，二姊Ifat與小弟Irfan出生於倫敦，Sara自己與大哥Shahid出生於喀拉蚩，妹妹Tillat則出生於拉合爾。
I think you would have
been amused, Pip, by my first solitary encounter with Jinx Roosevelt,
Austin's daughter and now my step. She is older than I am. But try to
picture my delight when she said to me, most affectionately, “I knew Pop
would remarry, but an intellectual! And—a nonwhite!” That's a nice
phrase. If ever I am in arrears, or need to assert my virtue in some
way, I say in my defense to Austin, “I am nonwhite.” (43)
What a strange contour
map we could create by simply making a geography of all the places of
our births! My parents, of course, born continents apart, but then
their children: I do not even remember where Nuz, Baji's daughter, was
born—perhaps Simla—but then there was Ifat in London, Shahid and me in
Karachi, Tillat in Lahore, and Irfan in London again. Amidst to much
movement, it makes me wonder what happened to our filaments of identity,
whether they bruised, strengthened, or simply became themselves. But
much of them must remain necessarily rooted in Lahore—“Oh, City of
Lights,” the poet Faiz called it—the grave-homes of our mother, our
sister, and now our father. (22)
I was not born in
London, as two of your other children were, but we were transplanted
soon enough to think of London as our home, such as homes be. (21)
最後，語言的轉譯也是這本回憶錄中一個重要的主題，首先，蘇勒律在每個篇章開頭選取一組烏爾都詩文對句，並將其譯成英文置於下方。再者，蘇勒律也在文中談及父親對烏爾都語的鍾愛，曾信口說過要將蘇勒律所寫的一首短詩譯成烏爾都語，但是從未付諸行動。事實上，這首短詩是蘇勒律為二姊Ifat所寫的悼念詩，就在父親過世後，她決定為父親翻譯這首詩，但是她要進行的轉譯不是「從語言到語言，而是從人到人」，她要將這首詩轉譯成為紀念父親的詩，但是就如羊皮紙（palimpsest）一樣，透過複寫，原詩中的Ifat並沒有消失，以致於轉譯的詩中有Ifat的聲音，換言之，蘇勒律認為這首詩也可說是Ifat為父親所寫的。
“They put the earth upon
him, my first love,
Heaped their instruments
and drowned him in the ground!
Put on him what you will
of all things physical,
Your stone upon his
flesh, but lift
The tyranny of your dear
thoughts,
And lift them, lest he
feels the weight.” (74)
TOP |
