Section 1
Not long ago there lived in uptown New York, in a small
almost meager
room, though crowded with books, Leo Finkle, a rabbinical
student in the Yeshivah University.
Finkle, after six years of study, was to be ordained in June and
had been advised by an acquaintance that he might find it easier to win himself a congregation if
he were married. Since he had no present prospects of
marriage, after two tormented days of turning it over in
his mind, he called in Pinye Salzman, a marriage broker whose two line
advertisement he had read in the Forward. |
The matchmaker appeared one night out of the dark fourth-floor hallway
of the graystone rooming
house where Finkle lived, grasping a black, strapped portfolio
that had been worn thin with use. Salzman, who had been long in the
business, was
of slight but dignified build, wearing an old hat, and an
overcoat too short and tight for him. He smelled frankly of fish, which
he loved to eat, and although he was missing a few teeth, his presence
was not displeasing, because of an amiable manner curiously contrasted
with mournful eyes. His voice, his lips, his wisp of beard, his bony
fingers were animated, but give him a moment of repose and his mild
blue eyes revealed a depth of sadness, a characteristic that put Leo a
little at ease although the situation, for him, was inherently
tense. |
He at once informed Salzman why he had asked him to come, explaining
that his home was in Cleveland, and that but for his parents, who had
married comparatively late in life, he was alone in the world. He had
for six years devoted himself almost entirely to his studies, as a
result of which, understandably, he had found himself without time for
a social life and the company of young women. Therefore he thought it the better part of trial and error¡Xof
embarrassing fumbling¡Xto call in an experienced person to
advise him on these matters. He remarked in passing that the function
of the marriage
broker was ancient and honorable, highly approved in the
jewish community, because it made practical the necessary
without hindering joy.
Moreover, his own parents had been brought together by a matchmaker.
They had made, if not a financially profitable marriage¡Xsince neither
had possessed any worldly goods to speak of¡Xat least
a successful one in the sense of their everlasting devotion to each other.
Salzman listened in embarrassed surprise, sensing a sort of apology.
Later, however, he experienced a glow of pride in his work, an
emotion that had left him years ago, and he heartily approved of
Finkle. |
The two went
to their business. Leo had led Salzman to the only clear
place in the room, a table near a window that overlooked the lamp-lit
city. He seated himself at the matchmaker's side but facing him,
attempting by an act of will to suppress the unpleasant tickle in
his throat. Salzman eagerly unstrapped his portfolio
and removed a loose rubber band from a thin packet of much-handled
cards. As he flipped through them,
a gesture and sound that physically hurt Leo, the student pretended not
to see and gazed steadfastly out the window. Although it was still
February, winter was on
its last legs, signs of which he had for the first time in
years begun to notice. He now observed the round white moon, moving
high in the sky through a cloud menagerie, and watched
with half-open mouth as it penetrated a huge hen, and dropped out of
her like an egg laying itself. Salzman, though pretending through
eyeglasses he had just slipped on, to be engaged in scanning
the writing on the cards, stole occasional
glances at the young man's distinguished face, noting with pleasure the
long, severe scholar's nose, brown eyes heavy with learning, sensitive
yet ascetic lips, and a certain almost hollow quality of
the dark cheeks. He gazed around at shelves upon shelves
of books and let out a soft, contented sigh. |
When Leo's eyes fell upon the cards, he counted six spread out in
Salzman's hand. |
¡§So few?¡¨ he asked in disappointment. |
¡§You wouldn't believe me how much cards I got
in my office,¡¨ Salzman replied. ¡§The drawers are already
filled to the top, so I keep them now in a barrel, but is every girl
good for a new rabbi?¡¨ |
Leo blushed at this, regretting all he had revealed of himself in curriculum
vitae he had sent to Salzman. He had thought it best to
acquaint him with his strict standards and specifications, but in
having done so, felt he had told the marriage broker more than was
absolutely necessary. |
He hesitantly inquired, ¡§Do you keep photographs of your clients on file?¡¨ |
¡§First
comes
family, amount of dowry, also what kind promises,¡¨
Salzman replied, unbuttoning his tight coat and settling himself in the
chair. ¡§After comes
pictures, rabbi.¡¨ |
¡§Call me Mr. Finkle. I'm not yet a rabbi.¡¨ |
Salzman said he would, but instead called him doctor, which he changed
to rabbi when Leo was not listening too attentively. |
Salzman adjusted his horn-rimmed
spectacles, gently cleared his throat and read in an eager
voice the contents of the top card: |
¡§Sohpie P.
Twenty four years. Widow one year. No children. Educated high school
and two years college. Also real estate. On the mother's
side comes
teachers, also one actor. Well known on Second Avenue.¡¨ |
Leo gazed up in surprise. ¡§Did you say a widow?¡¨ |
¡§A widow
don't mean spoiled, rabbi. She lived with her husband maybe four
months. He was a sick boy she made a mistake to marry him.¡¨ |
¡§Marrying
a widow has never entered my mind.¡¨ |
¡§This is
because you have no experience. A widow, especially if she is young and
healthy like this girl, is a wonderful person to marry. She will be
thankful to you the rest of her life. Believe me, if I was looking now
for a bride, I would marry a widow. |
Leo reflected, then shook his head. |
Salzman hunched
his shoulders in an almost
imperceptible
gesture of disappointment. He placed the card down on the wooden table
and began to read another: |
¡§Lily H.
High school teacher. Regular. Not a substitute.
Has savings and new Dodge car. Lived in Paris one year. Father is
successful dentist thirty-five years. Interested in professional men.
Well Americanized family. Wonderful opportunity.¡¨ |
¡§I knew
her personally,¡¨ said Salzman. ¡§I wish you could see this girl. She is
a doll. Also very intelligent. All day you could talk to her about
books and theater and what not. She also knows current events.¡¨
|
¡§I don't
believe you mentioned her age?¡¨ |
¡§Her age?¡¨
Salzman said, raising his brows. ¡§Her age is thirty-two years.¡¨ |
Leo said after a while, ¡§I'm afraid that seems a
little too old.¡¨ |
Salzman let out a laugh. ¡§So how old are you, rabbi?¡¨ |
¡§Twenty-seven.¡¨ |
¡§So what
is the difference, tell me, between twenty-seven and thirty-two? My own
wife is seven years older than me. So what did I suffer?¡X Nothing. If Rothschild's a daughter wants
to marry you, would you say on account her age, no?¡¨
|
¡§Yes,¡¨
Leo said dryly. |
Salzman shook off the no in the yes.
¡§Five years don't mean a thing. I give you my word that when you
will live with her for one week you will
forget her age. What
does it mean five years¡Xthat she lived more and knows more
than somebody who is younger? On this girl, God bless her, years are
not wasted. Each one that it comes makes
better the bargain.¡¨ |
¡§What
subject does she teach in high school?¡¨ |
¡§Languages. If you heard the way she speaks French, you
will think it is music. I am in the business twenty-five,
and I recommend her with my whole heart. Believe me, I know what I'm talking rabbi.¡¨
|
¡§What's on
the next card?¡¨ Leo said abruptly. |
Salzman reluctantly
turned up the third card; |
¡§Ruth K.
Nineteen years. Honor student. Father offers thirteen
thousand cash to the right bridegroom. He is a medical
doctor. Stomach specialist with marvelous practice. Brother-in-law owns
own garment business. Particular people.¡¨ |
Salzman looked as if he had read his trump card. |
¡§Did you
say nineteen?¡¨ Leo asked with interest. |
¡§On the dot.¡¨
|
¡§Is she
attractive?¡¨ He blushed, ¡§pretty?¡¨ |
Salzman kissed his finger tips. ¡§A little doll. On this I give you my
word. Let me call the father tonight and you will see what means
pretty.¡¨ |
But Leo was troubled. ¡§You're sure she's that young?¡¨ |
¡§This
I am positive. The father will show you the birth
certificate.¡¨ |
¡§Are you
positive there isn't something wrong with her?¡¨ Leo insisted. |
¡§Who
says there is wrong?¡¨ |
¡§I don't
understand why an American girl her age should go to a marriage
broker.¡¨ |
A smile spread over Salzman's face. |
¡§So for
the same reason you went, she comes.¡¨
|
Leo flushed. ¡§I
am pressed for time.¡¨ |
Salzman, realizing he had been tactless, quickly explained. The father
came, not her. He wants she should have the
best, so he looks around himself. When
we will locate the right boy he will introduce him and
encourage. This makes a better marriage than if a young
girl without experience takes for herself.
I don't have to tell you this.¡¨ |
¡§But don't
you think this young girl believes in love?¡¨ Leo spoke uneasily. |
Salzman was about to guffaw
but caught
himself and said soberly, ¡§Love comes with the right person,
not before.¡¨ |
Leo parted dry lips but did not speak. Noticing that Salzman had snatched a glance
at the next card, he cleverly asked, ¡§How is her health?¡¨ |
¡§Perfect,¡¨
Salzman said, breathing with difficulty. ¡§Of course, she is a little
lame on her right foot from an auto accident
that
it happened to her when she was twelve
years, but nobody notices on account she is so brilliant and also
beautiful.¡¨ |
Leo got up heavily and went to the window. He felt curiously bitter and
upbraided
himself for having called in the marriage broker. Finally, he
shook his head. |
¡§Why not?¡¨
Salzman persisted, the
pitch of his voice rising. |
¡§Because I
detest stomach specialists.¡¨ |
¡§So what do you care what is his business?
After you marry her do you need him?
Who says he must come every Friday night in your house?¡¨ |
Ashamed of the way the talk was going, Leo dismissed Salzman, who went
home with heavy, melancholy eyes. |
Though he had felt only relief at the marriage broker's departure,
Leo was in low spirits the next day. He explained it as arising from
Salzman's failure to produce a suitable bride for him. He did not care
for his type of clientele. But when Leo found
himself hesitating whether to seek out another matchmaker, one more polished
than Pinye, he wondered if it could be¡Xhis protestations to the contrary,
and although he honored his father and mother¡Xthat he did not, in essence,
care for the matchmaking institution? This thought he quickly put out
of his mind yet found himself still upset. All day he ran
around in the woods¡Xmissed an important appointment,
forgot to give out his laundry, walked out of a Broadway cafeteria
without paying and had to run back with the ticket in his hand; had
even not recognized his landlady in the street when she passed with a
friend and courteously called out, ¡§A good evening to you, Doctor
Finkle.¡¨ By nightfall, however, he had regained sufficient calm to sink his nose into a
book and there found peace from his thoughts. |
Almost at once there came a knock on the door.
Before Leo could say enter, Salzman, commercial cupid, was standing
in the room. His face was gray and meager, his expression hungry, and
he looked as if he would expire on his feet. Yet the
marriage broker managed, by some trick of the muscles,
to display a broad smile.
|
¡§So good evening. I am invited?¡¨
|
Leo nodded, disturbed to see him again, yet
unwilling to ask the man to leave.
|
Beaming still, Salzman laid his portfolio on the
table, ¡§Rabbi, I
got for you tonight good news.¡¨
|
¡§I've asked you not to call me rabbi. I'm still a
student.¡¨
|
¡§Your worries are finished. I have for you a
first-class bride.¡¨
|
¡§Leave me in peace concerning this subject.¡¨ Leo
pretended lack of interest.
|
¡§The world will dance at your wedding.¡¨
|
¡§Please, Mr. Salzman, no more.¡¨
|
¡§But first must come back my strength,¡¨
Salzman said weakly. He fumbled with the portfolio straps and took out
of the leather case an oily paper bag from which he extracted a hard, seeded roll
and a small, smoked white fish. With a quick motion of his
hand he stripped the fish out of its skin and began ravenously
to chew. ¡§All day in a rush,¡¨ he muttered.
|
Leo watched him eat.
|
¡§A sliced tomato you have maybe?¡¨
Salzman hesitantly inquired.
|
¡§No.¡¨
|
The marriage broker shut his eyes and ate. When he
had finished he carefully cleaned up the crumbs and rolled up the
remains of the fish, in the paper bag. His spectacled eyes roamed the
room until he discovered, amid some piles of books, a one-burner gas
stove. Lifting his hat he humbly asked, ¡§A
glass tea you got, rabbi?¡¨
|
Conscience-stricken,
Leo rose and brewed
the tea. He served it with a chunk of lemon and two cubes
of lump sugar, delighting Salzman.
|
After he had drunk his tea, Salzman's strength and
good spirits were restored.
|
¡§So tell me, rabbi,¡¨ he said amiably, ¡§you
considered some more the three clients I mentioned yesterday?¡¨
|
¡§There was no need to consider.¡¨
|
¡§Why not?¡¨
|
¡§None of them suits me.¡¨
|
¡§What then suits you?¡¨
|
Leo let
it pass because he could give only a confused answer.
|
Without waiting for a reply, Salzman asked, ¡§You
remember this girl I talked to you¡Xthe high school
teacher?¡¨
|
¡§Age thirty-two?¡¨
|
But, surprisingly, Salzman's face lit in a smile.
¡§Age twenty-nine.¡¨
|
Leo shot
him a look. ¡§Reduced from thirty-two?¡¨
|
¡§A mistake,¡¨ Salzman avowed. ¡§I talked today with
the dentist. He took me to his safety deposit box and showed
me the birth certificate. She was twenty-nine years last August. They
made her a party in the mountains where she went for her vacation. When
her father spoke to me the first time I forgot to write the age and I
told you thirty-two, but now I remember this was a different client, a
widow.¡¨
|
¡§The same one you told me about? I thought she was
twenty-four?¡¨
|
¡§A different. Am I responsible that the world is filled
with widows?¡¨
|
¡§No, but I'm not interested in them, nor for that matter,
in school teachers.¡¨
|
Salzman pulled his clasped hands to his breast.
Looking at the ceiling he devoutly exclaimed, ¡§Yiddishe
kinder, what can I say to somebody
that he is not interested in high school teachers? So
what then you are interested?¡¨
|
Leo flushed but controlled himself.
|
¡§In what else will you be interested,¡¨ Salzman went
on, ¡§if you not interested in this
fine girl that
speaks four languages and has personally in
the bank ten thousand dollars? Also her father guarantees further twelve
thousand. Also she has a new car, wonderful clothes, talks
on all subjects, and she will give you a first-class home and children.
How near do we come in our life to paradise?¡¨
|
¡§If she's so wonderful, why hasn't she married ten
years ago?¡¨
|
¡§Why?¡¨ said Salzman with a heavy laugh. ¡§Why?
Because she is partikiler.
This is why. She wants the best.¡¨
|
Leo was silent, amused at how he had entangled
himself. But Salzman had aroused his interest in Lily H., and
he began seriously to consider calling on her. When the
marriage broker observed how intently Leo's mind was at work on the
facts he had supplied, he felt certain they would soon come to an
agreement.
|
Late
Saturday afternoon, conscious of Salzman, Leo Finkle walked with
Lily Hirschorn along Riverside Drive. He walked briskly and erectly,
wearing with distinction the black fedora he had that morning
taken with trepidation
out of the dusty hat box on his closet shelf, and the heavy black
Saturday coat he had thoroughly whisked clean. Leo also owned a walking
stick, a present from a distant relative, but quickly put temptation
aside and did not use it. Lily, petite and not unpretty, had on
something signifying the approach of spring. She was au courant,
animatedly, with all sorts of subjects, and he weighed her words
and found her surprisingly sound¡Xscore another for Salzman, whom
he uneasily sensed to be somewhere around, hiding perhaps high in a
tree along the street, flashing the lady signals with a pocket mirror;
or perhaps a cloven-hoofed Pan, piping nuptial ditties
as he danced his invisible way before them, strewing wild buds on the walk and
purple grapes in their path, symbolizing fruit of a union, though there
was of course still none.
|
Lily startled Leo by remarking, ¡§I was thinking of
Mr. Salzman, a curious figure wouldn't you say?¡¨
|
Not certain what to answer, he nodded.
|
She bravely went on, blushing, ¡§I for one
am grateful for his introducing us. Aren't you?¡¨
|
He courteously replied, ¡§I am.¡¨
|
¡§I mean,¡¨ she said with a little laugh¡Xand it was
all in good taste, or at least gave the effect of being not in bad¡X¡§do
you mind that we came together so?¡¨
|
He was not displeased with her honesty, recognizing
that she meant to set
the relationship aright, and understanding that it took a
certain amount of experience in life, and courage, to want to do it
quite that way. One had to have some sort of past to make that kind of
beginning.
|
He said that he did not mind. Salzman's function
was traditional and honorable¡Xvaluable for what it might achieve,
which, he pointed out, was frequently nothing.
|
Lily agreed with a sigh. They walked on for a while and she
said after a long silence, again with a nervous laugh, ¡§would you mind
if I asked you something a little bit personal? Frankly, I find the
subject fascinating.¡¨ Although Leo shrugged, she went on half
embarrassedly, ¡§How was it that you came to your calling?
I mean was it a sudden passionate inspiration?¡¨
|
Leo, after a time, slowly replied, ¡§I was always
interested in the Law.¡¨
|
¡§You saw revealed in it the presence of the Highest?¡¨
|
He nodded and changed the subject. ¡§I understand
that you spent a little time in Paris, Miss Hirschorn?¡¨
|
¡§Oh, did Mr. Salzman tell you, Rabbi Finkle?¡¨ Leo winced
but she went on, ¡§It was ages ago and almost forgotten. I remember I
had to return for my sister's wedding.¡¨
|
And Lily would not be put off. ¡§When,¡¨
she asked in a tremble voice, ¡§did you become enamored of God?¡¨
|
He stared at her. Then it came to him that she was
talking not about Leo Finkle, but of a total stranger, some mystical
figure, perhaps even passionate prophet that Salzman
had dreamed up for her¡Xno relation to the living or dead.
Leo trembled with rage and weakness. The trickster had obviously sold her a
bill of goods, just
as he had him, who'd expected to become acquainted with a
young lady of twenty-nine, only to behold, the moment he laid eyes upon
her strained and anxious face, a woman past thirty-five and aging
rapidly. Only his self control had kept him this long in her presence.
|
¡§I am not,¡¨ he said gravely, ¡§a talented religious
person,¡¨ and in seeking words to go on, found himself possessed by
shame and fear. ¡§I think,¡¨ he said in a strained manner, ¡§that I came
to God not because I loved Him, but because I did not.¡¨
|
This confession he spoke harshly, because its
unexpectedness shook him.
|
Lily wilted.
Leo saw a profusion of loaves of bread go flying like ducks high over
his head, not unlike the winged loaves by which he had counted himself
to sleep last night. Mercifully, then, it snowed, which he would not
put past
Salzman's machinations.
|
He was infuriated with the marriage
broker and swore he would throw him out of the room the minute he
reappeared. But Salzman did not come that night, and when Leo's anger
had subsided, an unaccountable
despair grew in its place. At first he thought this was caused by his
disappointment in Lily, but before long it became evident that he had
involved himself with Salzman without a true knowledge of his own
intent. He gradually realized¡Xwith an emptiness that seized him
with six hands¡Xthat he had called in the broker to find
him a bride because he was incapable of doing it himself. This
terrifying insight he had derived as a result of his meeting and
conversation with Lily Hirschorn. Her probing questions had somehow
irritated him into revealing¡Xto himself more than her¡Xthe true
nature of his relationship to God, and from that it had come
upon him, with shocking force, that apart from his parents, he had
never loved anyone. Or perhaps it went the other way, that he
did not love
God so well as he might, because he had not loved man. It
seemed to Leo that his whole life stood starkly revealed and he saw
himself for the first time as he truly was¡Xunloved and loveless. This
bitter but somehow not fully unexpected revelation brought him to a
point of panic, controlled only by extraordinary effort. He covered his
face with his hands and cried.
|
The week that followed was the worst of his life.
He did not eat and lost weight. His beard darkened and grew ragged. He
stopped attending seminars and almost never opened a book. He seriously
considered leaving the Yeshivah, although he was deeply troubled at the
thought of the loss of all his years of study¡Xsaw them like pages torn
from a book, strewn over the city¡Xand at the devastating effect of this
decision upon his parents. But he had lived without knowledge of
himself, and never in the Five Books and all the Commentaries¡Xmea culpa¡Xhad
the truth been revealed to him. He did not know where to turn, and in
all this desolating loneliness there was no to whom, although he often
thought of Lily but not once could bring himself to go downstairs
and make the call. He became touchy and irritable,
especially with his landlady, who asked him all manner of personal
questions; on the other hand, sensing his own disagreeableness, he waylaid her on
the stairs and apologized abjectly, until mortified,
she ran from him. Out of this, however, he drew the consolation that he
was a Jew and that a Jew suffered. But gradually, as the long and
terrible week drew to a close, he regained his composure and some idea of purpose in
life to go on as planned.
|
Although he was imperfect, the ideal was not. As
for his quest of a bride, the thought of continuing afflicted him with
anxiety and heartburn, yet perhaps with this new knowledge of himself
he would be more successful than in the past. Perhaps love would now
come to him and a bride to that love. And for this sanctified
seeking who needed a Salzman?
|
The marriage broker, a skeleton with haunted eyes,
returned that very night. He looked, withal, the picture of
frustrated expectancy¡Xas if he had steadfastly waited the week at Miss
Lily Hirschorn's side for a telephone call that never came.
|
Casually coughing, Salzman came
immediately to the point: ¡§So how did you like her?¡¨
|
Leo's anger rose and he could not refrain from chiding
the matchmaker: ¡§Why did you lie to me, Salzman?¡¨
|
Salzman's pale face went dead white, the world had
snowed on him.
|
¡§Did you not state that she was twenty-nine?¡¨ Leo
insisted.
|
¡§I give you my word¡X¡¨
|
¡§She was thirty-five, if a day. At least
thirty-five.¡¨
|
¡§Of this don't be too sure. Her father
told me¡X¡¨
|
¡§Never mind. The worst of it was that you lied to
her.¡¨
|
¡§How did I lie to her, tell me?¡¨
|
¡§You told her things about me that weren't true.
You made me out to be more, consequently less than I am. She had in
mind a totally different person, a sort of semimystical Wonder Rabbi.
|
¡§All I said, you was a religious man.¡¨
|
¡§I can imagine.¡¨
|
Salzman sighed. ¡§This is my weakness that I have,¡¨
he confessed. ¡§My wife says to me I shouldn't be
a salesman, but when I have two fine people that they
would be wonderful to be married, I am so happy that I
talk too much.¡¨ He smiled
wanly. ¡§This is why Salzman is a poor man.¡¨
|
Leo's anger left him. ¡§Well, Salzman, I'm afraid
that's all.¡¨
|
The marriage broker fastened hungry eyes on him.
|
¡§You
don't want any more a bride?¡¨
|
¡§I do,¡¨ said Leo, ¡§but I have decided to seek her
in a different way. I am no longer interested in an arranged marriage.
To be frank, I now admit the necessity of premarital love. That is, I
want to be in love with the one I marry.¡¨
|
¡§Love?¡¨ said Salzman, astounded. After a moment he
remarked, ¡§For us, our love is our life, not for the ladies. In the ghetto
they¡X¡¨
|
¡§I know, I know,¡¨ said Leo. ¡§I've thought of it
often. Love, I have said to myself, should be a by-product of living
and worship rather than its own end. Yet for myself I find it necessary
to establish the level of my need and fulfill it.¡¨
|
Salzman shrugged but answered, ¡§Listen, rabbi, if
you want love, this I can find for you also. I have such beautiful
clients that you will love them the minute your eyes will see them.¡¨
|
Leo smiled unhappily. ¡§I'm afraid you don't
understand.¡¨
|
But Salzman hastily unstrapped his portfolio and
withdrew a manila
packet from it.
|
¡§Pictures,¡¨ he said, quickly laying the envelope on
the table.
|
Leo called after him to take the pictures away, but
as if on the wings of the wind, Salzman had disappeared.
|
March came. Leo had returned to his regular
routine. Although he felt not quite himself yet¡Xlacked energy¡Xhe was
making plans for a more active social life. Of course it would cost
something, but he was an expert in cutting corners; and when there
were no corners left he would make circles rounder. All the
while Salzman's pictures had lain on the table, gathering dust.
Occasionally as Leo sat studying or enjoying a cup of tea, his eyes
fell on the manila envelop, but he never opened it.
|
The days went by and no social life to speak of
developed with a member of the opposite sex¡Xit was difficult, given
the circumstances of his situation. One morning Leo toiled
up the stairs to his room and stared out the window at the city.
Although the day was bright his view of it was dark. For some time he
watched the people in the street below hurrying along and then turned
with a heavy heart to his little room. On the table was the packet.
With a sudden relentless
gesture he tore it open. For a half-hour he stood by the
table in a state of excitement, examining the photographs of the ladies
Salzman had included. Finally, with a deep sigh he put them down. There
were six, of varying degrees of attractiveness, but look at them long
enough and they all became Lily Hirschorn: all past their prime,
all starved
behind bright smile, not a true personality in the lot.
Life, despite their frantic
yoohooings, had passed them by; they were pictures in a
brief case that stank of fish. After a while, however, as Leo attempted
to return the photographs into the envelope, he found in it another, a
snapshot of the type taken by a machine for a quarter. He gazed at it a
moment and let
out a cry.
|
Her face deeply moved him. Why, he could at first
not say. It gave him the impression of youth¡Xspring flowers, yet age¡Xa
sense of having been used to the bone, wasted; this came from the eyes
which were hauntingly familiar, yet absolutely strange. He had a vivid
impression that he had seen her before, but try as he might he could
not place her although he could almost recall her name, as if he had
read it in her own handwriting. No, this couldn't be; he would have
remembered her. It was not, he affirmed, that she had an extraordinary
beauty¡Xno, though her face was attractive enough; it was that something
about her moved him. Feature for feature, even some of the ladies of
the photographs could do better; but she leaped forth to his heart¡Xhad
lived or wanted to¡Xmore than just wanted, perhaps regretted how she had
lived¡Xhad somehow deeply suffered. It could be seen in the depths of
those reluctant
eyes, and from the way the light enclosed and shone from
her, and within her, opening realms of possibility: this was her own.
Her he desired. His head ached and eyes narrowed with the intensity of
his gazing, then as if an obscure fog had blown up in the mind, he
experienced fear of her and was aware that he had received an
impression, somehow, of evil. He shuddered saying softly, it is thus
with us all. Leo brewed some tea in a small pot and sat sipping it
without sugar, to calm himself. But before he had finished drinking,
again with excitement he examined the face and found it good: good for
Leo Finkle. Only such a one could understand him and help him seek
whatever he was seeking. She might perhap, love him. How she
had happened to be among the discards in Salzman's barrel he
could never guess, but he knew he must urgently go find her.
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Leo
rushed downstairs, grabbed up the Bronx telephone book, and
searched for Salzman's home address. He was not listed, nor was his
office. Neither was he in the Manhattan book. But Leo
remembered having written down the address on a slip of paper after he
had read Salzman's advertisement in the ¡§personal¡¨ column of the
Forward. He ran up to his room and tore through his papers,
without luck. It was exasperating. Just when he needed the matchmaker
he was nowhere to be found. Fortunately Leo remembered to look in his
wallet. There on a card he found his name written and a Bronx
address. No phone number was listed, the reason¡XLeo now recalled¡Xhe had
originally communicated with Salzman by letter. He got on his coat, put
a hat on over his skullcap
and hurried to the subway station. All the way to the far end of the Bronx
he sat on the edge of his seat. He was more than once tempted to take
out the picture and see if the girl's face was as he remembered it, but
he refrained, allowing the snapshot to remain in his inside coat
pocket, content to have her so close. When the train pulled into the
station he was waiting at the door and bolted out. He quickly located
the street Salzman had advertised.
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The building he sought was less than a block from
the subway, but it was not an office building, nor even a loft, nor a
store in which one could rent office space. It was a very old tenement house.
Leo found Salzman's name in pencil on a soiled tag under the bell and
climbed three dark flights to his apartment. When he knocked, the door
was opened by a thin, asthmatic,
gray-haired woman, in felt slippers.
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¡§Yes?¡¨ she said, expecting nothing. She listened
without listening. He could have sworn he had seen her, too, before but
knew it was an illusion.
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¡§Salzman¡Xdoes he live here? Pinye Salzman,¡¨ he
said, ¡§the matchmaker?¡¨
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She stared at him a long minute. ¡§Of course.¡¨
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He felt embarrassed. ¡§Is he in?¡¨
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¡§No.¡¨ Her mouth, though left open, offered nothing
more.
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¡§The matter is urgent. Can you tell me where his
office is?¡¨
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¡§In the air.¡¨ She pointed upward.
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¡§You mean he has no office?¡¨ Leo asked.
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¡§In his socks.¡¨
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He peered into the apartment. It was sunless and
dingy, one large room divided by a half-open curtain, beyond which he
could see a sagging metal bed. The near side of a room was crowded with
rickety
chairs, old bureaus, a three-legged table, racks of
cooking utensils, and all the apparatus of a kitchen. But there was no
sign of Salzman or his magic barrel, probably also a figment of the
imagination. An odor of frying fish made Leo weak to the
knees.
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¡§Where is he?¡¨ he insisted. ¡§I've got to see your
husband.¡¨
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At
length she answered, ¡§So who knows where he is? Every time he thinks a
new thought he runs to a different place. Go home, he will find you.¡¨
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¡§Tell him Leo Finkle.¡¨
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She gave no sign she had heard.
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He walked downstairs, depressed.
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But Salzman, breathless, stood waiting at his door.
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Leo was astounded and overjoyed. ¡§How did you get
here before me?¡¨
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¡§I rushed.¡¨
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¡§Come inside.¡¨
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They entered. Leo fixed tea, and a sardine sandwich
for Salzman. As they were drinking he reached behind him for the packet
of pictures and handed them to the marriage broker.
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Salzman put down his glass and said expectantly,
¡§You found somebody you like?¡¨
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¡§Not among these.¡¨
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The marriage broker turned away.
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¡§Here is the one I want.¡¨ Leo held forth the
snapshot.
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Salzman slipped on his glasses and took the picture
into his trembling hand. He turned ghastly and let out a groan.
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¡§What's the matter?¡¨ cried Leo.
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¡§Excuse me. Was an accident this picture.
She isn't for you.¡¨
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Salzman frantically shoved the manila packet into
his portfolio. He thrust the snapshot into his pocket and fled down the
stairs.
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Leo, after momentary paralysis, gave chase and cornered the
marriage broker in the vestibule.
The landlady made hysterical outcries but neither of them listened.
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¡§Give me back the picture, Salzman.¡¨
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¡§No.¡¨ The pain in his eyes was terrible.
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¡§Tell me who she is then.¡¨
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¡§This I can't tell you. Excuse me.¡¨
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He made to depart, but Leo, forgetting himself,
seized the matchmaker by his tight coat and shook him frenziedly.
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¡§Please,¡¨ sighed Salzman. ¡§Please.¡¨
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Leo ashamedly let him go. ¡§Tell me who she is,¡¨ he
begged. ¡§It's very important for me to know.¡¨
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¡§She is not for you. She is a wild one¡Xwild,
without shame. This is not a bride for a rabbi.¡¨
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¡§What do you mean wild?¡¨
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¡§Like an animal. Like a dog. For her to be poor was
a sin. This is why to me she is dead now.¡¨
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¡§In God's name, what do you mean?¡¨
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¡§Her I can't introduce to you,¡¨ Salzman cried.
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¡§Why are you so excited?¡¨
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¡§Why, he asks,¡¨ Salzman said, bursting into tears.
¡§This is my baby, my Stella, she should burn in hell.¡¨
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Leo hurried up to bed and hid under the covers.
Under the covers he thought his life through. Although he soon fell
asleep he could not sleep her out of his mind. He woke, beating his
breast. Though he prayed to be rid of her, his prayers went unanswered.
Through days of torment he endlessly struggled not to love her; fearing
success, he escaped it. He then concluded to convert her to goodness,
himself to God. The idea alternately nauseated and exalted
him.
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He perhaps did not know that he had come to a final
decision until he encountered Salzman in a Broadway caferia. He was
sitting alone at a rear table, sucking the bony remains of a fish. The
marriage broker appeared haggard, and transparent to the
point of vanishing.
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Salzman looked up at first without recognizing him.
Leo had grown a pointed beard and his eyes were weighted with wisdom.
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¡§Salzman,¡¨ he said, ¡§love has at last come to my
heart.¡¨
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¡§Who can love from a picture?¡¨ mocked the marriage
broker.
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¡§It is not impossible.¡¨
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¡§If you can love her, then you can love anybody.
Let me show you some new clients that they just sent me their
photographs. One is a little doll.
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¡§Just her I want,¡¨ Leo murmured.
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¡§Don't be a fool, doctor. Don't bother with her.
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¡§Put me in touch with her, Salzman,¡¨ Leo said
humbly. ¡§Perhaps I can be of service.¡¨
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Salzman had stopped eating and Leo understood with
emotion that it was now arranged.
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Leaving the cafeteria, he was, however, afflicted
by a tormenting suspicion that Salzman had planned it all to happen
this way. Leo was informed by letter that she would meet him on a
certain corner, and she was there one spring night, waiting under a
street lamp. He appeared, carrying a small bouquet of violets and
rosebuds. Stella stood by the lamppost, smoking. She wore white with
red shoes, which fitted his expectations, although in a troubled moment
he had imagined the dress red, and only the shoes white. She waited
uneasily and shyly. From afar he saw that her eyes¡Xclearly her
father's¡Xwere filled with desperate innocence. He pictured, in her, his
own redemption. Violins and lit candles revolved in the sky. Leo ran
forward with flowers outthrust.
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Around the corner, Salzman, leaning against a wall,
chanted prayers for the dead.
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¡@
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